Thoughts of an Introvert

Stop catch feelings. Stop putting your hopes up. Stop loving the wrong person. Stop caring. Stop say you miss him. Stop thinking about him. Stop text him. Stop stalking him. Stop seeing the best in him. Stop having the faith that he is the one all along. Stop saying your happy for him when you are not. Stop changing yourself for him. Stop telling him how sad you are missing him. Cause all of those things meant nothing to him. You are like a dust on his shoulder that he just brush off in times. You deserves better. Someone who loves you more than you love him so that you can learn how to love him. Love, Ophelia ♡

I bet all of us ever feel like we're not good enough. We felt as if everything we gave doesn't satisfy the ones we love. We pour and pour and pour our heart and soul out to them who have the container but instead, they doesn't open the lid of it. The golds we pour end up wasted. Frustration kicked in. Annoyance knocked the door. Sadness covers us with its comfy blanket. Insecurities smiles at me. I say hello to it. Letting it into my home where I ran away the from fear of the world. Instead I let the fear enter my home. I did. Since the beginning. Insecurites has became my best friend. Fear is my new sibling. I love them so much that when love tries to say hello to me, I ran and cry my heart out! Shit. Why did I ran?! I have no idea how to love anymore. Everything seems dark and scary. Love is intimadting. I tryna befriend it one day but it scared the shit out of me with it's wholeness and unbiasness. I still figure a way to let love sit b...

Despite our break up, my soul is still for you. It is firmly here for you. Though I tried to fall for someone else, I be trippin' and get back up, unlike how I free fall for you once back. You wonder if you can call me stupid or even fool? Yes you can. You are free to call me that way. Despite you don't even care about how my day is going, have I eaten or not, how is my school going and such, but I here caring about you and even worried sometimes; wonder if you got a job already, how are you, how is your parents doing etc. Am I still a fool now? I guess I am. Despite me who break up with you but it doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. It is because of that reason, I let you go. I don't want you to stuck with someone you don't love. I just want you to find someone who you love, only when you are ready. I still love you. I still do. I do. Love, Ophelia ♡

Do you ever gave up on love? You be saying to yourself, "Oh fuck up. Love, go fuck yourself!". 'Cause I did. I am. Still am. I don't care about it anymore. I even say to myself that I won't care if I won't get married one day. The reasons? [Okay. First, I am not writing this out of objectivity but it is out of subjectivity. What I wrote here ain't do nothing against your views :)] All of us know since it is pretty obvious that people nowadays tend to fall for the physical characteristics of someone. They tend to closed one eye when it comes to the person's personality. That is the reality of public perception that I need to face daily or even for the rest of my life. I am aware for I am not pretty, not even close to skinny and even have no sense of humour. Plain Jane is how I love to roll in! Sadly enough, Plain Jane ain't what guys look for in a girl. Haa haa... Free tossed knife are everywhere. It hunts for t...

I still remember how you brush me off my feet It was the best day of my life Falling for you was unplanned Never thought you hold my heart. With no request, I let you in The risks were avoided Though I knew all along you would break my heart in pieces Oh baby Please rewind the clock To the time you were mine and I was yours Be who you were for my sake Missing you is unbearable Unstab the knife off my back Love me again baby Never knew I'll be missing you Still After all those months you're living yours I'm dying instead Well baby I'm a fool for you Always a fool that loves you Love, Ophelia ♡

How wonderful it would be if we catched feelings with someone we sure will be with us for forever and always. Seems like love's favourite game is "Guess what?". Shits. Sometimes I hate it. Well apparently, most of the time. I got no problem catching feelings with strangers but catching feelings with my own friend, it is super awkward. It is not just awkward but also dangerous for the friendship. When I stuck in this situation, I will pretty much make sure I would not let them know my feelings for them. No matter how hard. Yes -- people say we should tell someone what we feel but not when that someone is my own friend. Cus the friendship worth more than how I feel towards him. My feelings can fade away but I cannot bear to lose him as a friend. "You are my crush tapi rahsia." Hahahaha Love, Ophelia ♡

Why do girls often make things complicated? Why do girls often turnt something so small into something so big, it burst? Why do girls cry over slightest mistakes or even happiness? Why do girls love the guy who hurt them but ignore the one who love them to the moon and back? Why are girls complicated? Why? I am a girl myself and I am still asking myself why. What makes it so hard for us to straighten things up and bring it straight to the point? We girls love to dramatize something that needs to be minimize. Aku pun naik darah kadang kadang. Let me give you an example: If our bae doesn't reply our texts, it would makes our head torching up with fire like Goku! But if we think again, it's just a text! Nothing important about it. We could call that someone rather than assuming but we love to assume shits and that's not cool! Oh wait. I just realized it's not cool hahaha Okay. Anyway, it's great though being a girl. Sometime...

What is something that cannot be mend physically and it takes possibly a lifetime to repair it; but it would not look and feel the same? It took you every ounce of your mental energy and emotional energy to bandage the cut caused by some human who made you the happiest person that you gonna die who crossed your path once. It sounds bad.. isn't it? It does feel bad if you ask me. So hurt. So bad -- just staring at things, beautiful things or view etc. just to get myself into that pithole over and over again. You were my first love. The first sunshine that ever light me up other than my family and friends. Someone who made my days better; months to be exact. You were the source of my happiness -- at least that is how I felt. You were also the source of my sadness and sorrow. The pain that I'm feeling; so deep in my heart. Was it a coincidence for me to know you or is it fate who planned all these? I have no idea. However, I do know and is a true believer ...