Heartbreak.


What is something that cannot be mend physically and it takes possibly a lifetime to repair it; but it would not look and feel the same? It took you every ounce of your mental energy and emotional energy to bandage the cut caused by some human who made you the happiest person that you gonna die who crossed your path once.

It sounds bad.. isn't it?

It does feel bad if you ask me.

So hurt.

So bad -- just staring at things, beautiful things or view etc. just to get myself into that pithole over and over again.

You were my first love. The first sunshine that ever light me up other than my family and friends. Someone who made my days better; months to be exact. You were the source of my happiness -- at least that is how I felt. You were also the source of my sadness and sorrow. The pain that I'm feeling; so deep in my heart.

Was it a coincidence for me to know you or is it fate who planned all these? I have no idea. However, I do know and is a true believer that you were crossing my path for few good reasons. Some of the reasons I know and some of it, I'm figuring it out.

Wise man once said that "Only fools rushed in.". I guess I am an obvious fool for rushing into love with you. I cannot help falling in love with you cus you gave me reasons to take all the risk to be hurt by you, knowing damn well you will and knowing that I'm willing heal the pain if one day you ever decided that you are not feeling the same way as I do anymore.

 I broke down my walls for you. That was a big step for me you know?

 Frankly speaking, I am more disappointed than I am heartbroken. I am disappointed cus I gave you my trust. I trusted you enough to take care of my heart, hold it like it is your own. As fragile as it is as to when I first gave it to you. But you failed. 

I loved you so much no words can explain how much I do. As days and months went by, one day, I realized I was just a fool for you. I was like a lab hamster who you are going to cut open my skin just for you to discover what is inside of me to fulfill your curiosity of what kind of mammal I am.

No. It's not my body you want to discover but my naked soul. The most sacred place in me. You tried to discover it without a brilliant reasons and it tears me up. That shit, it tears me up. With a thought of you being real with me broke me down piece by piece and you do not even say sorry for breaking me down.

People does changes. They do. Even when you keep saying they would not but they will.

I am not here to say that your lover will change just like how mine did but I am just trying to say that always take care of your heart and soul first before you taking care of your significant others. Cus if you abandon your precious, it will ruin you alive inside.

Hope for a longitivity for your relationship.

Love,
Ophelia ♡

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